Kids’ worries often behind bedtime battles, national survey shows
More than 40% of those surveyed reported that their child moves to the parents’ bed, and about 30% said children insist that the adult sleep in their room. Photo by RDNE Stock Project/Pexels
One in four parents reported that their child couldn’t drift off to sleep because they were distressed, a new national poll released Monday reports.
These families are less likely to have a bedtime routine, according to the poll, which was conducted by the University of Michigan Health C.S Mott Children’s Hospital.
Conducted in February, the poll included responses from 781 parents of children ages 1 to 6.
“When we asked parents what were the reasons that their child sometimes struggled to get to sleep, a quarter of them said that it’s because their child seems worried or anxious,” poll co-director Sarah Clark told UPI in a telephone interview.
Children may fear the dark or the unknown. Some could be scared that something bad may happen to Mom or Dad. Others could be confused over what’s going on around them, said Clark, a research scientist in the department of pediatrics at the University of Michigan Health in Ann Arbor.
That’s when restlessness takes over. “Often, the time it comes out is right at bedtime,” she said, adding that bad dreams can disrupt sleep, as well.
More than one-third of poll participants noted that their child often or occasionally wakes up upset or crying. More than 40% reported that their child moves to the parents’ bed, and about 30% said children insist that the adult sleep in their room.
Instead of remaining in the child’s room, parents can check in every few minutes. This approach acknowledges a youngster’s fears and offers a reassuring presence, while maintaining a calm environment and promoting sleep independence, Clark said.
Sleep struggles are typical in a child’s development, she said, but it’s understandable that parents can become frustrated when they, too, feel tired at the end of the day.
Relaxing rituals can help. Electronics, including tablets and televisions, should be kept out of a child’s bedroom, because blue light interferes with production of the natural sleep hormone melatonin, Clark said.
In the poll, nearly one in five parents reported giving a melatonin supplement to help their child fall asleep, while one-third wait in the room until the youngster completely dozes off.
Many melatonin products are advertised as appropriate for children, but have not undergone rigorous testing for safety and effectiveness, and their side effects and long-term impact on growth and development are unknown, Clark said.
Although occasional use may be fine, parents shouldn’t depend on melatonin as a primary sleep aid, she said, while advocating that they start with the lowest possible dosage.
However, Clark first recommends consulting with a child’s pediatrician to discuss options and rule out other causes of sleep problems.
Nearly two-thirds of surveyed parents said staying up to play was a major factor in delaying sleep, so she advises mellowing out at least an hour before bed.
Most parents reported having a bedtime routine that may involve brushing teeth, reading bedtime stories, bathing or a combination of activities. Fewer than half said their child has a drink of water or snack, turns off devices, prays and talks about their day.
“It’s a signal to the child that it’s time to wind down,” Clark said. “We’re moving to a different part of the day.”
Other helpful bedtime habits may include holding a blanket or stuffed animal or sucking a pacifier or fingers.
Having a consistent bedtime routine provides a sense of security and comfort, and it also fosters parental bonding, Clark said.
A little fewer than half of parents polled say their child sleeps in their own bedroom, while fewer than a quarter share a bedroom with siblings or in the parents’ bedroom. One in 10 kids spends part of the night in their own bedroom and part of the night with parents.
More than two-fifths of parents said noise from other rooms interfered with their child’s sleep. If possible, children should have their own bed in a quiet room, Clark said.
Many parents use a nightlight or leave the bedroom door slightly ajar, so the child isn’t in complete darkness, but Clark cautions that the light should not shine directly at the child’s face.
Some parents also play soothing music or tell stories to promote sleep, while others use a white noise machine or app. To prevent unintended damage to a child’s hearing, Clark advises keeping white noise machines at no more than 50 decibels and placed at least 7 feet from the child’s bed.
The poll’s findings illustrate “normal developmental challenges that many kids experience as their thought processes become more mature,” said Erika Chiappini, a child psychologist at Johns Hopkins Children’s Center in Baltimore. She was not involved in the survey.
“Young kids have active imaginations,” Chiappini said. “So, if they are worried about something scary at night, parents can help them use their imagination to help ward off the scary thought, too.”
For example, she added, if children fear the presence of a monster in the room, parents can prompt them “to think of something silly” that will make the demon disappear “or show that it’s really a nice one.”
Parents also can incorporate deep breathing, body scans or progressive muscle relaxation into a bedtime routine, Chiappini said.
Marianne Kabour, a pediatric psychologist at Renown Children’s Hospital in Reno, Nev., said she encourages parents to talk with children about their day to help process worries. If doing this close to bedtime increases anxiety, an after-dinner chat may be better.
Engaging in an activity designed to let go of worries is another option, Kabour said.
“For young children, parents can write the worries down on paper and children can put them in a ‘worry box,’ or if they want, they can rip the paper up to release the worry,” she said.
“Middle-age children and adolescents can do this, too, or for them, journaling their thoughts and feelings can help.”